It's that time again...and by that I mean that my handy iPhone notepad feature thing has 5 little reminders in this particular category. Sometimes I debate with myself over whether or not I should provide context for these shocking things I find myself saying, wondering whether or not whatever gem of a scenario your imagination comes up with would be even more amusing. But then I reread them (*ahem # 4*) and realize that it's definitely better to include an explanation- at least for some. I wouldn't want any surprise visitors showing up on my doorstep, after all. Without further ado, I give you 5 more things I never thought I'd say...until I became a parent:
1. Me: "No, that's not Batman. It's Joseph. It's NOT Batman. Joseph- and Mary, and Baby Jesus. See?"
2. Me: "You got him to go up for bath on his own? Wow! Wait- what is that you're luring him with??"
Ian: "My wallet."
3. Ian: (overheard coming from the bathroom the other night while he was showering) "Damn it!"
Me: "What?"
Ian: "I forgot to wipe the poop off my shampoo bottle!!"
Me: "Um...what?"
4. Me: "I guess it's open season on my body!" This is one I regretted immediately after it was out of my mouth, because about 10 seconds later my More parroted it. That's what every mother wants to hear her daughter say, I'm sure. It should be noted that what provoked this was the fact that I kept having to crouch down to do something, and every time I did, Sheldon would stick his wet nose in my crack (I was wearing low-rise pants), making me yelp and jump up in shock. Then, later on when I was bent over with the baby, he came up and licked inside my ear. That's when I gave up trying to push him away from me and made my infamous declaration.
5. Ian: "For the last time, More, your clitoris is NOT a bobo! She doesn't believe me. It's supposed to be there!! Right, Maman??"
Me: "Yes."
1. Me: "No, that's not Batman. It's Joseph. It's NOT Batman. Joseph- and Mary, and Baby Jesus. See?"
2. Me: "You got him to go up for bath on his own? Wow! Wait- what is that you're luring him with??"
Ian: "My wallet."
3. Ian: (overheard coming from the bathroom the other night while he was showering) "Damn it!"
Me: "What?"
Ian: "I forgot to wipe the poop off my shampoo bottle!!"
Me: "Um...what?"
4. Me: "I guess it's open season on my body!" This is one I regretted immediately after it was out of my mouth, because about 10 seconds later my More parroted it. That's what every mother wants to hear her daughter say, I'm sure. It should be noted that what provoked this was the fact that I kept having to crouch down to do something, and every time I did, Sheldon would stick his wet nose in my crack (I was wearing low-rise pants), making me yelp and jump up in shock. Then, later on when I was bent over with the baby, he came up and licked inside my ear. That's when I gave up trying to push him away from me and made my infamous declaration.
5. Ian: "For the last time, More, your clitoris is NOT a bobo! She doesn't believe me. It's supposed to be there!! Right, Maman??"
Me: "Yes."
This made me laugh so hard. Number 5 especially! I constantly marvel at the things I not only have to say once, but over and over. I love that they are so unique to each family.
ReplyDeleteMy friend read number 5 and reminded me that her husband was hanging out at our place the other day when More asked him if he wanted to see her 'bobo', as children do. He had no idea what she was asking and I came flying in from the other room yelling "Nooo! No, he doesn't!"
ReplyDeleteI love these! As the mother of a girl with three brothers, I can definitely identify with #5. Daughter-Only had to be told over and over and over that she did NOT have two butts and that her "weinie" wasn't ruined! (We always used anatomical words, but our boys brought home all sorts of substitutes that they didn't hestitate to share with their little sister.)
ReplyDeleteHilarious, had me laughing. My grandson had to use the bathroom at Tim Horton's and I always take them into the women's bathroom with me. When he got home that night he told his dad he used the bathroom that smelled like vaginas and boobs. What he meant, no idea but we both got a giggle out of it. I love the comment you made about your friend's husband being there and More asking if he wanted to see her "bobo". The innocence of little ones.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to quote you in my post for today. I've been thinking about that line "There's something about the written word that lends significant weight to one's thoughts." which was in the Nov. 23rd post "Pass."
ReplyDeleteI'm working on it right now and don't know if you will see this comment before it posts. I'm scheduling it for around 11:45. If you would like not to be quoted, let me know before if you can. After is fine, too and I will edit it out. Thanks! :)
No problem!
ReplyDeleteFunny! My Kid is only 9 months old, so obviously doesn't parrot anything I say yet (beyond "dadada"), but I already find myself saying things I never would have a year ago.
ReplyDeleteEspecially our repeated refrain of "fart!" when we hear the familiar sound coming from his direction. I've never used that word so much in my life.
Thanks for point me in your blog direction. Ahhhhhh yes the little ones and things they say. Of course the things we parents say in response as well!!
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what a bobo is but I don't think there was any other response you could have given to that question *laughing*.
ReplyDelete